Welcome to the worst possible matchup screen imaginable. It’s 2028. The country is lagging, trust is corrupted, and the Republican primary glitches into something nobody voted for but everyone is watching.
Level: Establishment Paladin
Perks: Senate seat, donor networks, unlimited ad budget
Debuff: “Fake Populist” (-25 Youth Trust)
Level: Chaos Outsider
Perks: Hardcore online base, shock damage, viral clips
Debuff: “Boomer Repellent” (-40 Older Voters)
This isn’t a prediction. It’s a simulation. And the scoreboard is closer than anyone wants to admit.
JD Vance spawns in with massive funding. AIPAC-linked money floods the map early. High-production ads. Perfect lighting. Professional tone. Everything screams approved.
Problem: players notice the donor tags.
Every time a Vance ad drops, social media flashes “SPONSORED BY DONORS” in giant red letters. Even voters who don’t follow politics feel it. The vibe is wrong. The youth meter keeps dropping.
Nick Fuentes? No corporate loot boxes. No elite donors. Instead, ultra-right-wing orgs, small online donations, and meme-fueled fundraising keep him alive. Low budget. High chaos. Somehow… effective.
Fuentes +1.2%
Here’s where the game breaks.
JD Vance tries to appeal to young men. It fails. Badly. He sounds like a HR department pretending to rage against the system. The “working-class story” cutscene has been skipped too many times.
Fuentes, meanwhile, triggers an unexpected stat boost: young women support increases. Not massive—but enough to shock analysts. Media NPCs panic. Commentators scream “THIS MAKES NO SENSE.”
Fuentes +2.4%
Older voters reject him almost completely. Hard stop. No patch fixes it. This caps his max HP.
Fuentes +0.9%
Online, the phrase spreads fast:
Nick Fuentes: 48.6%
JD Vance: 47.3%
Undecided / AFK voters: 4.1%
Welcome to the worst possible matchup screen imaginable. It’s 2028. The country is lagging, trust is corrupted, and the Republican primary glitches into something nobody voted for but everyone is watching.
Level: Establishment Paladin
Perks: Senate seat, donor networks, unlimited ad budget
Debuff: “Fake Populist” (-25 Youth Trust)
Level: Chaos Outsider
Perks: Hardcore online base, shock damage, viral clips
Debuff: “Boomer Repellent” (-40 Older Voters)
This isn’t a prediction. It’s a simulation. And the scoreboard is closer than anyone wants to admit.
JD Vance spawns in with massive funding. AIPAC-linked money floods the map early. High-production ads. Perfect lighting. Professional tone. Everything screams approved.
Problem: players notice the donor tags.
Every time a Vance ad drops, social media flashes “SPONSORED BY DONORS” in giant red letters. Even voters who don’t follow politics feel it. The vibe is wrong. The youth meter keeps dropping.
Nick Fuentes? No corporate loot boxes. No elite donors. Instead, ultra-right-wing orgs, small online donations, and meme-fueled fundraising keep him alive. Low budget. High chaos. Somehow… effective.
Fuentes +1.2%
Here’s where the game breaks.
JD Vance tries to appeal to young men. It fails. Badly. He sounds like a HR department pretending to rage against the system. The “working-class story” cutscene has been skipped too many times.
Fuentes, meanwhile, triggers an unexpected stat boost: young women support increases. Not massive—but enough to shock analysts. Media NPCs panic. Commentators scream “THIS MAKES NO SENSE.”
Fuentes +2.4%
Older voters reject him almost completely. Hard stop. No patch fixes it. This caps his max HP.
Fuentes +0.9%
Online, the phrase spreads fast:
Nick Fuentes: 48.6%
JD Vance: 47.3%
Undecided / AFK voters: 4.1%
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